


for diamonds do appear to be, just like broken glass to me

by CirclesArePointless



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst, Gen, maybe a lil ooc? idk, some intrusive thoughts, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 13:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29559801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CirclesArePointless/pseuds/CirclesArePointless
Summary: The stressful city and college life is enough to crush even diamonds.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	for diamonds do appear to be, just like broken glass to me

**Author's Note:**

> so sorry i did this to you, dia...
> 
> so yea, hit a nasty block, overwhelmed by a lot of shit in real life, so i thought maybe writing a vent fic would help me break the block and give me some kind of catharsis or something. dw too much about me when reading this, ik i've touched on rather concerning topics, but i made some small progress already (and fiction is exaggerated anyways)  
> here's hoping that i could continue with my wips
> 
> title is obviously is a lyric line taken from Panic! at the Disco - Northern Downpour, it just felt so fitting  
> (fic beta-ed by ethanol)

The city was a stark contrast to the peace of the countryside. Even in the darkest hour, rest assured that the skyscrapers will stay lit. Unlike her hometown, the city never sleeps at night.

And much like the city, Dia was sleepless.

Sure, the main light inside her modest apartment was switched off, but it was all just a ruse. It wasn’t like her entire block would go pitch black once the clock struck midnight or anything, but she just didn’t want to draw any attention at all. Besides, she had bills to pay.

This left her with just the table lamp on her study as her source of light, with the other one being, of course, her laptop.

Plenty of videos were queued for her late-night enjoyment on her screen, although with how things were going, she might as well call it her early-morning entertainment. Of course, her session would be incomplete without a mug of coffee on her right side, a vital elixir to keep her consciousness grounded on this waking plane. She couldn’t imagine where she would be without her trusted dose of caffeine. Sure, this would be her sixth cup of the night, but six cups wouldn’t be lethal, right?

Dia wished it would.

She knew better not to stay up this late, especially when she had classes first thing in the morning. She knew better not to glue her eyes to her laptop screen inside a dark room.

She knew all that, and yet, she was doing the exact opposite of what she had been taught. What she had preached to her peers. _What happened to the good old trustworthy student council president?_

She was a student full of potential. The one who was most likely to succeed. The one to bring pride to her family.

Now? The only thing she could do was to run away. But no matter how far she ran, how much she tried, she knew reality would come biting her back like a rabid dog.

Sadly, no amount of idol shows could distract her from the bitter truth.

Dia could only heave out a sigh. Maybe all that success got into her head. Maybe she was just not as good as she thought she was. Well, _the only way from up is down_ , she thought.

She couldn’t even take care of herself, let alone her room.

A look inside her room was enough hint to what was going on inside her mind. Her bed was a mess. Her study was littered with sheets of unorganised paper. The sharp corners of the room played host to dust left untouched.

She would be riddled with shame if any of her friends were to see her in this state. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Ah, she could hear their voices haunting her already.

Her eyes were already crusting from fatigue, red from exhaustion, but she didn’t intend to go to bed any time soon. She didn’t want this night to end at all.

It didn’t help that the weather outside was unrelenting either. The downpour was just loud. Too loud. It reminded her too much of the chaos brewing inside.

All the more reason to deafen herself inside her land of make-believe.

Couldn’t she just dissipate into cyberspace?

She thought she had it all. She thought that, even if the obstacles seem tough, she could just ram through it. She did the impossible, what’s stopping her from doing the same again? Oh, how wrong she was. Just when she got over her fears of the city, the city came down and beat her spirits down to a pulp, leaving nothing but an empty shell.

If people still think that a diamond was unbreakable, then they should look no further than Dia.

She was in a state of disarray. A trainwreck headed for the cliffs. Derailed from the path set out for her.

Her grades were dwindling much to her chagrin. Her motivations had been practically snuffed to smoke. Her schedule; what schedule? She would rather be cooped up inside her room than facing anybody. Not especially after a humiliating breakdown. The fact that she had been missing lessons only fed into this vicious cycle.

She couldn’t even remember the last time she ate well. The past few weeks saw her slowly transitioning from having at least cooked some of her meals to being totally dependent only on microwave meals and delivery services. Ah, she felt so guilty! All that binge-eating had already begun to show itself in the mirror.

She didn’t want to return empty-handed. She didn’t want to disappoint her family. She didn’t want to set a bad example to her sister. She didn’t want her friends to think of her as a failure. She was a Kurosawa for god’s sake, how had she faltered so easily? At this rate, her parents might as well just disown her and put Ruby next in line for the family business. Even worse, marry her off and get told to be a docile housewife to a more ‘reliable’ man.

This burnout was indescribable.

Maybe she was just not cut out for the city life. The hustle and bustle. Sometimes, it just felt like everything was faster, even when time stopped ticking. Oh, how much she missed home. How much she longed for the times when everything was simple. When everybody took it slow at their own pace.

The guilt creeped up again. She was fettered by her obligations. She was behind with her assignments. It had been weeks since she initiated proper social contact with the outside world. Curse this single-occupancy apartment room. Curse her obligations.

She hadn’t talked to her friends in weeks, not even her sister. Well, at least she remained on texting terms with her, but still. She could sense the worry in those pixels, how worried her little sister was for her. _Oh, sweet little Ruby, if only you knew…_

Dia sighed again. She desperately didn’t want this night to end soon. Not just yet. She was by no means prepared for tomorrow, she would rather have forever start tonight. Fingers crossed that the moon would stay put at its place.

With that, she clicked play on another video, downing an entire mug worth of coffee in one go.


End file.
